ripe for the picking
CHEERS TO ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL NFL DRAFT SEASON. AND CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS YEARS DRAFT PICKS. ANYONE IN NEW YORK CITY OVER THIS PAST WEEKEND WOULD AGREE THAT ALTHOUGH WATCHING THE ACTUAL DRAFT ON TV WAS AS PAINFULLY BORING AS WATCHING PAINT DRY, THE EVENTS LEADING UP TO AND THERE AFTER WERE WORTH IT. THERE WERE ENDLESS WATERFALLS OF PATRON ALL NIGHT (SHOUT OUT TO FRANK!!), AND THE BOTTLES OF ACE OF SPADES NEVER STOPPED POURING. YOU CAN THANK JAY FOR THAT. IT WAS A SPECTACLE OF BALLERS, ENTERTAINERS, GROUPIES, AND GOLD DIGGERS ALL UNDER ONE ROOF. I PROMISE IT WAS LIKE THE WHOLE THING WAS CHOREOGRAPHED. AS THE NIGHT PROGRESSED AND THE PLACE LIT UP WITH THE SPARKLE OF DIAMONDS, THE GIRLS WOULD MAKE THEIR WAY OVER TO OUR VIP SECTIONS, WORKING THROUGH EACH LAYER STARTING WITH THE BODY GUARD, THEN THE COUSIN'S-BOY FRIEND'S-BEST FRIEND, TO THE MANAGER, UP TO THE 3RD STRING CORNER BACK, UNTIL FINALLY (IF THEY DIDN'T GET PICKED OFF ALONG THE WAY) THEY MADE IT TO THE LIKES OF A FOOTBALL STAR. OF COURSE ALL THE GIRLS ARE GIVEN A DRINK, AND IF YOU'RE CUTE ENOUGH YOU MIGHT EVEN GET THE BUBBLY, AND A DANCE OR TWO UNTIL THE NEXT GIRL SHOWS UP HOPING TO GET NEXT. THEN THAT ONE PRIZE GIRL GETS TO ROLL FOR THE REST OF THAT JUST ONE NIGHT, TRYING TO BE NICE AS HELL TO ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ROLLING IN THE ENTOURAGE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. AND IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN THE NEXT NIGHT. DAMN!!
SO WE STARTED OUR WEEKEND OFF THAT THURSDAY, YES THAT THURSDAY, AT THE OVER PACKED SWEAT BOX GYPSY TEA. NOT TOO SURE WHOSE IDEA IT WAS TO HAVE THE EVENT THERE, BUT I HOPE THEY GOT FIRED. BUT SHOUT OUTS TO VINCE YOUNG, OSI UMENYIORA, KEYSHAWN JOHNSON, DONTE WHITNER AND THE REST OF THE WHOLE NFL THAT MANAGED TO PACK INTO THAT ONE TINY ROOM.
THAT FRIDAY WE FOUND OUR WAY TO SPOT LIGHT LIVE, BUT DIDN'T GET THE MEMO THAT THE WHOLE BOROUGH OF THE BRONX WAS HAVING A FAMILY REUNION. WITH REGGAETON BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND, I GET STOPPED AT THE DOOR BY THIS LONG HAIR, DON'T CARE, PAPI WITH A MEAN PRESS TALKING ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BEHOOVE ME TO ROLL WITH HIM BECAUSE HIS SWAGGER WAS JUST THAT SICK, AND ASKING IF I WANTED CUBAN LINK'S AUTOGRAPH. AS ENTICING AS A CUBAN LINK'S AUTOGRAPH MIGHT HAVE SEEMED, I DECIDED TO PASS ON THE OFFER.
WE MAKE OUR WAY UP TO OUR SECTION IN THE VIP (OMITTING LIKE A WHOLE 30 MINS. OF CONTEMPLATING LEAVING) AND ONCE AGAIN FIND OURSELVES SHOULDER TO SHOULDER. I MEAN, DESPITE IT ALL WE STILL MANAGED TO HAVE A BLAST.
SATURDAY NIGHT ROLLS AROUND AND AFTER SEEING GOOD REPRESENTATION OF ALL THE TEAMS, ESPECIALLY THE GIANTS (STILL PARTYING LIKE THEY WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME), SOMEONE ASKED WHY THE JETS WEREN'T OUT? OUR CONCLUSION... IT'S BEST THEY WEREN'T OUT, HOPEFULLY THEY WERE SOMEWHERE PRACTICING FOR THE UP COMING SEASON. NO OFFENSE.
TONIGHT IS HAWAIIAN TROPIC ZONE. AND IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING. THE ONLY DRAW BACK IS THE CORNY MUSIC THEY PUT ON EVERY TIME THEIR TROPIC GIRLS HIT THE STAGE GYRATING FOR A GOOD TEN MINUTES WHILE THE GUYS STOP EVERYTHING THEY'RE DOING TO WATCH, HOPING FOR A COSTUME MALFUNCTION.
WE END OUR WEEKEND WITH A LITTLE LIVE DRUM ACTION TO THE HOTTEST HIP HOP BEATS AT LOTUS. THE WHOLE CLUB WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, BUT I MUST ADMIT THAT OUR SECTION HAD TO BE THE FLYEST CREW UP IN THERE. THANKS TO A LITTLE LAST MINUTE ASS HAUL TO THE HARLEM UNDERGROUND FOR THE PERFECT TEE SHIRT TO MATCH SWEETS NEW SNEAKS, I'D SAY WE WERE PRETTY WELL PUT TOGETHER. AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT, OF COURSE WE WIND BACK UP AT THE CHELSEA DINER, WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS OUR NAME, TO ORDER TURKEY BURGERS WITH JUST CHEESE AND BARBECUE SAUCE ON THE SIDE (DON'T ASK). I DON'T MAKE IT BACK UPTOWN UNTIL A QUARTER TO 7, WITH JUST ENOUGH TIME TO GET READY FOR WORK AND START THE GRIND ALL OVER AGAIN.
Labels: donte whitner, harlem underground, keshawn johnson, osi umenyiora, sweets, vince young
There